This is a companion piece to our 2025 Dynasty League Rankings. The opinions below are my own and do not reflect the TDG consensus.

Nowadays, my life isn’t exactly full of excitement. At my age, my idea of “fun” mostly revolves around where I do my grocery shopping.

On my “adventures,” I’m a bit of a wildcard—I don’t just stick to one store. As they say, variety is the spice of life. I like to shake things up! You only live once, right? Yes, this is what awaits you when you’re knocking on the door of fifty.

So, when I was asked to cover TDG’s 2025 Starting Pitchers to Target, I figured, why not lean into my true expertise—discount department stores—to make up for my clear lack of fantasy baseball proficiency. 

TARGET better yet TAR-JAY

65. CHASE DOLLANDER

Maybe it’s the bright lights and decor, or maybe it’s the slight lack of despair in the air that makes Target the “it” place for discount department shopping. Speaking of despair, the Colorado Rockies organization might have finally drafted and developed their first legitimate ace. I know many of you will instinctively shy away from any pitcher wearing the Rockies Purple and Silver—history tells you to—but Dollander has the makings of an exception.

Dollander’s performance last season between High-A and Double-A showed that he regained command of his Major League-caliber arsenal and cleaned up the mechanical issues that caused him to slide in the 2023 MLB Draft. In 118 innings, he posted a 14.9 K/9, 3.6 BB/9, a 2.59 ERA, and a 1.19 WHIP against competition averaging more than a year older than him. Thanks to his elite athleticism, he maintained an explosive yet repeatable delivery, giving him an excellent approach angle, induced vertical break, and extension. These traits fuel his whiff-inducing four-seamer, which sits between 96-99 mph, and his hard-tilt slider that moves almost like a cutter in the upper 80s. He also flashed a consistent 12-6 curve with good movement and a fading changeup that remains a work in progress but shows promise. All of these traits are impressive, but what I like most is the mentality he showcases on the mound that screams, EXPECT MORE. TARGET HIM!

Kyle Newman of the Denver Post reported Dollander could make the Opening Day rotation if he performs well in Spring Training. 

WAL-MART

102. TINK HENCE

One of my favorite pitching prospects started off as almost a mythical figure, thanks to the Cardinals’ strict pitch count early on in his career. Many, including myself, fell in love with the limited tape that showcased a filthy arsenal with three legitimate plus-plus pitches. Last season, he put that on display again in Double-A, finishing with a 2.71 ERA in 79 ⅔ innings, a 34% K rate, and an 8% BB rate.

Hence operates from a three-quarters arm slot, and his mechanics remind me a bit of Dylan Cease. Last year he had a 6.5” extension and about a 5.2’ release height which needs a bit of work but not too far off from 2022 when he dominated. His stuff is simply electric, headlined by possibly the best 1-2 pitch combo in MiLB: a rising fastball that touches 98 mph and a devastating mid-80s circle change that fades arm-side. His ability to tunnel these pitches, along with the significant velocity separation, led to an absurd 63% whiff rate on his changeup in the zone—yes I said, in the zone!  His third plus-plus pitch is a gyro slider, which runs at a similar speed to his changeup. Last season, he alternated between using his slider and a much-improved 12-6 curveball to change hitters’ eye levels. His arsenal works against both lefties and righties.

Of course, the major knock on him is durability—he has surpassed 90 innings only once in four professional seasons. That concern is exactly why he’ll be available in your league. But you can’t deny the stuff. ALWAYS FACTOR PLUS STUFF, ALWAYS!

K-MART BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL

272. CHARLEE SOTO

Attention all K-Mart shoppers! We have a blue light special that’s only available for the 2025 season! Stock up on Charlee Soto, who just posted a bloated 5.23 ERA in Single-A!

Yeah, we’re looking for deals, and Soto’s rough first season as a pro makes him the perfect buy-low candidate. The numbers can be tossed out—last season was clearly a learning experience for the 19-year-old.

At 6’4, 210 lbs, Soto already checks the box for a frontline-starter frame. Like many young pitchers, he leaned on his power repertoire, but as the season progressed, he showed he’s more than just a power arm. His fastball needs better movement, but it plays well off his stellar sinker, which induced an eye-popping 58% groundball rate. More impressively, he demonstrated the ability to throw both pitches at the same velocity—his four-seamer averaged 95.4 mph, while his sinker sat at 95.1 mph.

Another promising development? His split-change, which many scouts believe will be a plus-plus pitch. The numbers back it up—a ridiculous 43.9% whiff rate. He also features a hard-bite slider with east-west movement, sitting 86-88 mph with around 2400 RPM.

At just 19 years old, patience will be key, but the potential payout screams ATTENTION FANTASY MANAGERS, THIS KID IS BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL!

THE DOLLAR STORE

303. COOPER HJERPE

If you’ve never stepped into a Dollar Store or Dollar General, you don’t know what you’re missing—deals, deals, deals! And that’s exactly what we might have in Cooper Hjerpe from the Cardinals organization.

The former Oregon State Beaver looked like he was on the fast track to the majors after being a Golden Spikes Award finalist (11-2, 161 Ks, 23 BBs in 103.1 IP) and getting drafted 22nd overall in 2023. But injuries derailed that path, and after two pro seasons totaling just 93.1 innings, he’s become an afterthought in fantasy circles.

So why target Hjerpe? A lot of it comes down to the deception in his funky crossfire delivery, which reminds me of something straight out of the NES game Bases Loaded. His low three-quarters slot is tough to pick up, and despite his unorthodox mechanics, he lands on an even plane, evidenced by his 55-grade command. His 76 Ks and 28 BBs in 52.1 innings might not fully reflect it, but Hjerpe consistently pounds the zone. I’m willing to chalk up last season’s struggles to a nagging lat injury.

As for his pitch mix, it’s just as unique. Two pitches stand out as MLB-caliber:

• Sweeper (upper 70s): Moves gloveside with heavy break.
• Changeup: Fades armside, creating an impressive east-west contrast with the sweeper.

His fastball sits 90-93 mph, but because of the deception in his delivery, it looks like it’s coming in at 98 mph. He has also been working in a cutter, though it remains a project.

You wouldn’t go into a Dollar Store expecting filet mignon, and if you did see it there, you probably shouldn’t buy it. But sometimes, you need to focus on intangibles—and what I like most about Hjerpe is his mental toughness and competitiveness. Young players who have battled adversity, like Hjerpe, often come out stronger. That’s why in my opinion he has EXTREME VALUE in EVERY WAY. 

GOOD LUCK IN YOUR SHOPPING… I MEAN DRAFTING!! 

Shit. I really hope people get that the Target pun was intentional and not just the ramblings of an old man who wandered onto a fantasy baseball site to talk about discount stores.